Author Archives: bedigital

Big Toetry Entry 2: Coming Down

COMING DOWN

When we wake up and look

At what is doing the staring out,

Time crashes to a halt and

We stare deep into the face of God.

The dream of life fades away

And a luminous laughter

Wells up in our throats.

The actors dawn their mortal costumes

And the play goes on

As the plot intensifies,

Our mind lost in the role,

We become the individual once again.

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Big Toetry Entry 1: Introductions

INTRODUCTIONS

I am the belly laugh around the camp fire as the fondest of memories are recounted.

I am the intoxicated toddler rushing down the stairs on Christmas morning to see what Santa brought.

I am the razor blade’s edge on the wrist of the 14 year old boy whose classmates mock him.

I am the vacuous look in the starving child’s eyes.

I am the tears running down the cheek of the new father, watching his wife kiss their newborn child for the very first time.

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Virgin Voyage: My First Psychedelic Experience

psychedelic experience reaching the void

A Recount of My First Psychedelic Experience

This definitely ain’t Kansas.

As some of you are already aware, the totality of my drug experience (not to mention my psychedelic experience) throughout both high school AND college consisted of four beers. I suppose I should point out that the term “beer” is used lightly here, as they were really four bottles of Little Kings Cream Ale.

Seriously, I was that straight-edge (before that was a term) and vanilla, up until I was 24 years old.

Although slightly painful to admit, I was a Midwestern Country Bumpkin when I arrived in San Francisco, sight unseen, to study Religion and East West Psychology at The California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS).

Although I had obtained my BA in philosophy with additional foci on religion and psychology, I somehow missed the books and lectures on mystical experiences, induced both by various techniques and the use of drugs.

That all changed at CIIS, as there was a corner section of the library dedicated to the topic of the psychedelic experience for enlightenment. Mind you, that wasn’t the exact description header for those two bookshelves, but even I could figure it out.

It was like porn to me.

Like real, old school porn, before the Internet; when it wasn’t so easy to obtain, and that seemed to exponentially increase both the desire and appreciation for it. That’s what this new and tasty information was for me… Enlightenment Porn.

But I digress…

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My Unconditional Love of Pussy

My name is Hairy Yogurt Das, and I have an unconditional love of pussy.

There, I said it.

Of course, I am talking about my cat. I just find it funny to say it that way. If you find it in bad taste, I sincerely respect and appreciate your choice to feel that way. But I still find it funny.

From a young age, I found it natural to love animals. I should be clear, I’m talking about non-human animals here. The human animal has proven substantially more challenging to love.

I’d love to have a dog, but the closest I’ve ever gotten was a bunch of dogma. My karma has been cats, and I’m cool with that. As a matter of fact, I feel it has been more valuable for me in terms of experiencing unconditional love.

You’re probably thinking, “What the fuck is he talking about? It’s dogs that give you the unconditional love. Cats can be real assholes.”

Ain’t that the truth! But hear me out…

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The Philanthropic Egomaniac

Philanthropic Egomaniac burning money

Hello Fun Seekers.

For better or for worse, I’ve been exposed to more than my share of wealthy individuals during my tenure of this life. I ended up in some private school from 8th-12th grade. I was on scholarship helping to satisfy their “diversity” claims. I guess socio-economic diversity needed its token representation. Needless to say, you couldn’t swing a dead cat at back-to-school night without hitting some extremely wealthy, white, overachieving, stressed out, type-A parent right between the eyes.

Then I ended up raising kids in San Francisco, ground zero of shitty public schools, and we became the wealthy, white, overachieving, stressed out, type-A parents that sent our kids to insanely expensive private schools.

What I learned from my exposure to the other parents at this school is that if you are really into accumulating wealth, only an idiot would go into the software industry (me) if they could find a way into the financial services industry, especially any type of venture capital, merger and acquisition type of shit.

I got to hang out with these types for good part of seven years, until we pulled the ripcord on the whole circus and I quite my job, left the high-tech world, San Francisco, private schools and bolted to a small town and started over.

All this is an elaborate set-up to overcome the objection that the first philanthropic offended mother-fucker tries to slap into the comment section at the bottom of this article. This objection is the classic, “you wouldn’t say these things if you really knew these people and how big their hearts are, and how hard they work, and how much they love everyone, and blah, blah, blah…..”

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