Category Archives: The Big Toe Musings

YOU Do Not Exist

you do not exist
There was a naked sage in India who, by even Indian standards, was quite bizarre and very direct with those who would seek his consul.  The word was that even just being around this guy would elicit an almost overwhelming blissful and loving state of consciousness.  I recall this same guy would even poop in his own hand and throw it at the hoards of people that wouldn’t leave him alone.  This may be a good best practice we could all benefit from adopting, as it seems likely it could be quite effective.

One of the visitors approached this crazy naked sage and said, “What do I need to do to become enlightened?” To which the sage responded, “You want to become enlightened?  YOU do not  exist!”

This is kind of a bad-ass cool thing to say to someone but what does it really mean?

Continue reading →

Big Toetry Entry 3: Into The One

INTO THE ONE

Another merciless wave crashes
Over a jagged puzzle called the mind
Each piece a riddle
With a solution thought will never find

Confusion leads to a desperate flash
Stunning the groping mind into non-existence
We awaken to take our first real breath

This baby, an old soul, named God
Sees himself, admiring the
Grotesque horror and unspeakable beauty as one

Remembering once again
Nothing has ever changed & nothing ever was
As the dream passes, we awaken alone again
Into the one

The silence ripping away the screens of thought
The window is wide open
Recognizing, in the eyes of all we see, only our self

Seeing our creation, ourselves, and the glance
All as one, beyond the deception of time

The Big Toe

NEVER MISS A POST! SIGN UP BELOW:

Love this post? Hate it with a wrathful vengeance? Either way, don’t miss the next one! Free WUH VIP means you’ll get notification and access to every new post and update: CLICK HERE

Bullshit Spirituality Practices

bullshit spirituality

The Origin of Bullshit Spirituality Practices

Correlation and causation aren’t the same thing, no matter how inviting it is to act otherwise. Our quick attempt to equate them is a fool’s game.  Take it from a fool who’s played this game like a drum.

What the hell am I talking about and what does this correlation/causation distinction have to do your spiritual practice?

And more importantly, how does bullshit spirituality work its way into this messy mix?

Well I’m not talking about the bullshit fact that most tantric practitioners realize they’ve contracted crabs about 7-10 days after a practicing session on their “path”.

That’s bullshit spirituality for a different post (note to self).

Continue reading →

Nondualistic BadAss in Black

Nondualistic BadAss schoolbus

Almost 20 years ago now, I received a call from Hairy Yogurt Das.   We hadn’t talked in a while and after some introductory chit chat, shit-giving and banter, HYD said, “From a dualistic perspective, I’ve got some bad news.”

“What’s that?” I replied.

“Michael’s dead.” he responded.

“What happened?”

“Crashed his Harley.”

So, the most unusual thing about this interaction isn’t that Michael (one of HYD’s closest friends) was killed.  It was that HYD clearly knew that in the bigger scope of things, there is no such thing as “bad” or “good” news.  It’s just the manifestation unfolding.

However, if you want to get relative, something like this could be considered pretty fucking bad compared to Michael winning the lottery or even having a bad cup of coffee.  With the intention not to insult me by assuming I wasn’t operating at a state where anything was other than what is was, he qualified that he had some bad news from a “dualistic” perspective.  His parents raised him with proper manners, I’d say.

Continue reading →

All Paths Don’t Lead To The Top Of The Mountain

top of the mountain path

This can be a very discomforting thought and will make many seekers anxious. Let’s face it, in the spiritual journey, there are an abundance of competing options positioning themselves as a sure fire path to get us to a goal that almost no seekers ever attain.

Search for ultimate truth is a high risk, low reward game to get involved in and the uncertainty of how to proceed on this journey, to somewhere we’ve never been, makes the average seeker feel pretty fucking lost.

Believe me, I know.

But wait! What could be more comforting and provide the lost ego more piece of mind than the statement that “All paths lead to the same place”.

Whew! I’m not fucked nor do I have to think any longer about the fact that I could be taking the path that seems easiest, least assaultive on my ego, or is most popular right now. This one is right up there with, “No matter what sins I commit, if I confess them, Jesus will forgive me and I’ll go to Heaven when I die.”

Who wouldn’t grab these moronic beliefs with both hands as fast as possible?

Continue reading →

A Conditional Acceptance of the Bhakti Path

Hello Bliss Seekers,

This one is kind of a sticky-wicket. What I mean by that is that “sticky-wicket” is really fun to say out loud. Please stop reading and quickly say “sticky-wicket” out loud.

All You Need Is Love?

For those you that haven’t been exposed to all the super cool and eastern sounding Sanskrit words thrown around by seekers immersifying their egos in “Eastern philosophy and spiritual practices”, thank your lucky fucking stars. Bhakti basically means love. The Bhakti path is a path of love and devotion. Is it dualistic or non-dualistic? It depends on if the seeker has the ability to truly embrace non-dualism.

Continue reading →

On Spiritual Ego

 

spiritual ego

A health check for your practice

From time to time it makes sense to take inventory of our practice and if we are effectively “moving forward”. As a start, you may want to ask yourself some of these questions?

  • How would I describe myself spiritually?
  • Where am I on my current path?
  • How dedicated am I?
  • How long have I been practicing?
  • How do I feel about my progress?
  • Do I feel more centered, calm, and peaceful than a month or year ago?
  • How do I deal with those less conscious that I have to interact with in my life?
  • Should I be doing more or adding time or dimensions to my practice?
  • How knowledgeable am I on the foundation and writers in my given path?
  • Do I feel good about my dedication and consistently?

Maybe even add some more of your own if you are serious about this. I suggest you briefly write out your answers before moving on. Look at the answers and assess your opinions, perspectives, and beliefs about who you are as a spiritual seeker and where you are on your path and what goals you may have achieved or are striving to.

Congratulations! You’ve taken the first step and are now looking, right in the face, at a steaming pile of dog shit called your Spiritual Ego.

This is a nice extra piece of luggage we can add to our existing baggage of beliefs around who we are and why we are special or a victim. The beauty of this is that we actually feel good about all these perspectives because they are “spiritual”.

We now have another dimension we can add to our beliefs about who we are physically, mentally, emotionally, professionally, and financially.   We have a spiritual dimension that makes us even more balanced, interesting, and pretty fucking deep.

Continue reading →

Big Toetry Entry 2: Coming Down

COMING DOWN

When we wake up and look

At what is doing the staring out,

Time crashes to a halt and

We stare deep into the face of God.

The dream of life fades away

And a luminous laughter

Wells up in our throats.

The actors dawn their mortal costumes

And the play goes on

As the plot intensifies,

Our mind lost in the role,

We become the individual once again.

NEVER MISS A POST! SIGN UP BELOW:

Love this post? Hate it with a wrathful vengeance? Either way, don’t miss the next one! Free WUH VIP means you’ll get notification and access to every new post and update: CLICK HERE

Big Toetry Entry 1: Introductions

INTRODUCTIONS

I am the belly laugh around the camp fire as the fondest of memories are recounted.

I am the intoxicated toddler rushing down the stairs on Christmas morning to see what Santa brought.

I am the razor blade’s edge on the wrist of the 14 year old boy whose classmates mock him.

I am the vacuous look in the starving child’s eyes.

I am the tears running down the cheek of the new father, watching his wife kiss their newborn child for the very first time.

Continue reading →

The Philanthropic Egomaniac

Philanthropic Egomaniac burning money

Hello Fun Seekers.

For better or for worse, I’ve been exposed to more than my share of wealthy individuals during my tenure of this life. I ended up in some private school from 8th-12th grade. I was on scholarship helping to satisfy their “diversity” claims. I guess socio-economic diversity needed its token representation. Needless to say, you couldn’t swing a dead cat at back-to-school night without hitting some extremely wealthy, white, overachieving, stressed out, type-A parent right between the eyes.

Then I ended up raising kids in San Francisco, ground zero of shitty public schools, and we became the wealthy, white, overachieving, stressed out, type-A parents that sent our kids to insanely expensive private schools.

What I learned from my exposure to the other parents at this school is that if you are really into accumulating wealth, only an idiot would go into the software industry (me) if they could find a way into the financial services industry, especially any type of venture capital, merger and acquisition type of shit.

I got to hang out with these types for good part of seven years, until we pulled the ripcord on the whole circus and I quite my job, left the high-tech world, San Francisco, private schools and bolted to a small town and started over.

All this is an elaborate set-up to overcome the objection that the first philanthropic offended mother-fucker tries to slap into the comment section at the bottom of this article. This objection is the classic, “you wouldn’t say these things if you really knew these people and how big their hearts are, and how hard they work, and how much they love everyone, and blah, blah, blah…..”

Continue reading →